I just read the haiku should be in the form 5 - 7 - 5 and that a word for a season should be used. For the latter one I have today, but the 5 -7 - 5 is not really respected. I could / should have written
Ackworth born haiku (5) In the links of hpy blog (7 if you pronounce happy) today has been done (5)
The punctuation is not perfect, but I'm a beginner.
5-7-5 really only applies to Japanese haiku but Japanese syllables [actually "onji"] are different from the syllables in most western languages in that they are all of equal length so 17 English syllables are generally a lot more than 17 Japanese onji.
haiku appear simple but mastery of the genre takes upwards of 30 years. Don't let that put you off trying and enjoying though.
I could analyse the verse in many different ways but this is probably not the forum for too much analysis.
suffice to say that the word "is" is probably redundant [ie it goes without saying] and there is perhaps too much going on in the second line with the wind - cold, blowing, hard - maybe one or more of these states could be implied somewhere else somehow.
Neat photo. I missed the meteor shower too! Too cloudy and/or artificially bright here, I think. Sorry to hear you were battling flu. Are you feeling better? This weekend I saw that a tiny toad had taken up residence in our pink birdhouse, so I will be blogging about that later today. Stay tuned ... such excitement! :-)
Ackworth born haiku
ReplyDeletein the links of hpy blog
today done
I'm so sorry, I don't know anything about the haiku art, so I just tried to do it my way.
I was actually wondering how to write a haiku post some day when I suddenly noticed that I was in your links. Thank you very much.
I just read the haiku should be in the form 5 - 7 - 5 and that a word for a season should be used. For the latter one I have today, but the 5 -7 - 5 is not really respected.
ReplyDeleteI could / should have written
Ackworth born haiku (5)
In the links of hpy blog (7 if you pronounce happy)
today has been done (5)
The punctuation is not perfect, but I'm a beginner.
hi happy
ReplyDeletedon't get hung up on
counting syllables
5-7-5 really only applies to Japanese haiku but Japanese syllables [actually "onji"] are different from the syllables in most western languages in that they are all of equal length so 17 English syllables are generally a lot more than 17 Japanese onji.
haiku appear simple but mastery of the genre takes upwards of 30 years. Don't let that put you off trying and enjoying though.
Dark the sky is,
ReplyDeleteCold wind in the trees blows hard.
Reply gives warmth.
good attempt
ReplyDeleteI could analyse the verse in many different ways but this is probably not the forum for too much analysis.
suffice to say that
the word "is" is probably redundant [ie it goes without saying] and there is perhaps too much going on in the second line with the wind - cold, blowing, hard - maybe one or more of these states could be implied somewhere else somehow.
keep reading widely
What a wonderful way to herald in the new morning!
ReplyDelete:)
Neat photo. I missed the meteor shower too! Too cloudy and/or artificially bright here, I think. Sorry to hear you were battling flu. Are you feeling better? This weekend I saw that a tiny toad had taken up residence in our pink birdhouse, so I will be blogging about that later today. Stay tuned ... such excitement! :-)
ReplyDelete;o]
ReplyDeleteFantastic! This would wake me up ;)
ReplyDeleteA great way to embrace the morning.
ReplyDeleteAn entirely new take on daybreak - at least for me! I truly enjoyed the photo and the new thoughts engendered by your words...
ReplyDeletethis reminds me of two movies...Dear Frankie and On a Clear Day...very nice work
ReplyDeleteWhat a different take on what daybreak means. Once or twice, I'd enjoy it.
ReplyDeletewell, that would certainly wake you up! lol.
ReplyDelete